Student Writing Samples - Essay

The 5 Response

The five paper is an example of proficient writing. It displays some manipulation of language to achieve a desired effect. It exhibits a strong voice and clear sense of audience. Content is thoughtful and interesting. Any errors which are present do not detract from the reader's understanding. Vocabulary and sentence structure are varied and serve the author's purpose successfully.

209 16 - Content is thoughtful and interesting. Student uses specific examples to support the argument. The essay contains a mature conclusion and possesses a strong voice.

198 02 - This paper begins as a strong "5" paper and had it continued in this manner the paper may have received a "6". The first page includes a deft use of vocabulary, varied sentence structure, and excellent detail; however, the second half of the essay, from "Marilyn Manson" on, is less engaging and contains an awkward shift from "keeping an open mind to unconditional love".

29 21 - This paper exemplifies the "5" paper. It effectively combines narration and exposition with a strong sense of voice. Vocabulary such as "gruff, infernal, and curbed" help distinguish this paper from a "4" paper. Errors are infrequent and do not distract from the flow of the essay.