Communications 12 Student Writing Samples - Composition

The 4 Response

The four paper is on topic and the ideas are clearly expressed. It is generally articulate but unimaginative. Paragraph structure is defined but conventional. The subject-verb sentence pattern predominates. Although expression is simplistic, some attempt is made to use more complex vocabulary. There are few errors in usage and mechanics.

#116: 4
Topic: People sometimes let life become too complicated.

The ideas in this paper are clearly expressed, but examples lack development and are generally unsophisticated. Mechanics and spelling are adequate, but vocabulary is simplistic and conventional. The paper does a satisfactory job of addressing the topic.

People sonetimes let life become too conplicated. I totally agree with this statement because I do it myself.

I listen to what others say about things that have happened or are happening in my life. For example acouple people came up to me and told me my boyfriend cheated on me. I had totally believed them even before I talked to him. This made my life complicated because he is sticking to his story and no one else is. I don't know who to believe.

Another reason I think I agree with this statement is, I care about what others think about me and my life. If soneone was to tell me that I go out too much I would stay at home for the next week.

I also agree with this statement because people think with thier head and not with their heart. People dont think for themselves, they have other people influencing them.

In conclusion I feel that people including myself need to stop believing in other people so much and start believing in ourselves. I feel we should stop caring what others think, as well as we should start thinking for ourselves otherwise this world is going to get very complicated.

#132: 4
Topic: People sometimes let life become too complicated.

This 4 paper has a weak introduction, but gains strength by its thesis development! Effective use of paragraphs and transition exist. Errors in sentence structure, spelling and usage prevent this paper from becoming a 5 paper.

People sometimes let life become to complicated. They let their lives go way out of control, and the never take the time to just stop and smell the flower. They don't stop and enjoy what life has to offer. They just go.

Then they complain that they they work to hard or not enough. I never knew a lazy person before. I would see only these hard working people. They would work until I got tired of watching.

I guess I could consider myself lazy. I like doing things the easiest and fastest way so I could have time for myself and to enjoy my enviroment while it is still there. I just don't understand workaholics it seems well just like any other addiction, that their hiding from something or running from their past lives, trying to forget their past. Are the ashamed of something?

Did someone hurt them? Traumatized them into a life of running away from fear. Do they get some kind of joy or fulfillment when a job is completed, and if so how does it feel. Is it an adrenilene rush or do you feel good after done, and if all this is true then would we still be addicts. I guess we are all addicts there is always something to make a person feel good , whether it is natural like adrenaline of life threatening like cocaine.

If we are all addicts wouldn't that be a form of limiting ourselves? People like to limit themselves so they can deal with it. But they don't know what they are fully capable of doing. I guess it is right.

"Everyone's a junkie".

#53: 4
Topic: People sometimes let life become too complicated.

Ideas are presented in an orderly, though unimaginative approach. There is a fluency of written expression. The prescriptive approach, however, deems this paper as too simplistic to warrant a higher mark.

Life shouldn't be so complicated

In the modern day people are always making or letting life become more complicated than it really should be. When people do this it adds stress and anger upon themselves as well as many other people.

The first thing I would like to explain is getting up in the morning. If more people would get up a little earlier our roads would be a much safer place. More people should go to sleep a little earlier and wake up a little earlier so that they feel good in the morning and aren't rushed while driving to work or wherever they might be going.

The second thing that helps make life become more complicated then it should is crime. If more people would stand up and help fight crime this world would be a much nicer place. More Block-Watch homes are needed and alarm systems are essential. If alarm prices were cheaper more people would feel safe and be safe. Personal safety shouldn't be only for the rich or well off people.

The last thing I want to add is a huge topic that I won't be able to fully cover in this section. More people need to start thinking ahead! If more people would think about their actions before they did them we would be better off. Too many people these days don't think ahead and realize by taking a little more time to do something, someone else, down the road might be better off.

Generally, people do sometimes make life or let life become too complicated. If everyone would just pace themselves, think ahead and understand that personal and neighbourhood safety is a key, thir word would be a much cleaner, safer and more enjoyable place. Everyone should be happy most of the time and not give in to stress.